A recurring theme over holidays (and other times) amongst parents is the amount of time their teens spend on their screens.
This worry becomes heightened in particular on holidays when teenagers are lacking the routine and structure of school and resort to their screens to fill the time. It’s a particular hot topic at present with a lot of attention on schools, including Eton, banning smart phones for students.
A petition was signed just before the general election to ban smart phones for under 16 year olds and Jonathan Haidt released his book citing the increase use of smart phones as a cause of increased mental health problems in children. It is therefore not surprising that there is somewhat a degree of moral panic amongst parents when it comes to the amount of screen time their teenagers are exposed to.
Panic not parents.
There is NO evidence that smart phones CAUSE mental health problems in young people. Mental health problems in young people have been increasing for decades, not just since the late 2000’s. We are also better at being aware of mental health problems and therefore diagnosing them. I speak to many people who had what would be diagnosed as anxiety or depression or something else as teenagers but were not diagnosed as it was simply not spoken about or was just accepted as part of being a moody teenager. Furthermore, having access to illicit things that could be seen as ‘damaging’ is nothing new.
I recall in my childhood plenty of children (not even yet teenagers) sneaking a viewing of Nightmare on Elm Street at sleepovers with parents unaware of what was being watched. The thrill of doing watching something ‘grown up’ and forbidden did not quite outweigh the cost of not being able to sleep at night when the imagination ran wild, but also not being able to tell anyone about your fear as then you would have to admit to watching it against the rules (that was my experience anyway). Then there was that creepy nursery rhyme worming its way into your brain.
The concept that was largely lost back then was the concept that our own inner monster could kill us at our most vulnerable points and the only way to protect yourself was to deny yourself the basic human need of sleep. Of course when that happens your brain begins to lose its grip on reality and the ability to recognise what is real and what is not.
You can see where I’m going with this – there are definite themes that overlap with some of the fears around social media and screens. However, although less than ideal, the majority of us who gained access to watching the film grew up without any lasting damage, mostly because of the environment around us. I believe that something similar can be said for screen time today and that the key to minimising harmful effects is to concentrate on the protective factors of adolescents rather than an outright ban.
As that creepy rhyme is now stuck on repeat in my head I’m going to capitalise on that to give you a Kruger style guide to managing your young person’s screen time
One, Two: Big Tech’s coming for you
Make no mistake about it – adolescents are a prime target for Big Tech. The adolescent who places high value on social status and keeping in touch with their peers, will try and fit in by following trends and has a brain wired to seek dopamine. Social media’s algorithms are designed to keep people engaged for as long as possible, deliver advertising to their target audience and use gambling psychology to give a dopamine hit to the brain each time the screen is refreshed. It’s a match made in heaven.
However, I believe young people have an innate ability to make the right choice for them and are empowered when they can make a decision for themselves rather than having it made for them. Speak to your young person about your concerns – give them the knowledge about how phones work and ask them how they think it will affect them - and come to a shared decision between you both about what works for you as a family.
Three, Four: Make your password secure
Explain the risk of having a phone stolen or someone else gaining access to their phone and their social media platforms. Imagine how that would feel if someone started posting stuff on your feed? Get them to start thinking about settings and their digital footprint and identity. The same goes for you too – if you have decided to set limits on screen time make sure your password is secure as teens are likely to be better than you at managing tech and your birthdate password is child’s play to them.
Five, Six: Get a lifestyle fix
A research study led by Imperial College London and University College London has suggested that it is not social media itself that causes harm but rather that heavy social media use may disrupt activities that have a positive impact on mental health like sleeping and exercise.
Exercise and nutrition are important in supporting adolescent wellbeing and have been shown to help with brain development during this period. Of course, you cannot force your teen to exercise or eat certain foods but you can certainly have it as a criteria for being able to use their phones in a healthier way.
Seven, Eight: Manage the hate
One of the biggest factors that contributes to negative psychological effects of excess screen time, especially in girls, is cyberbullying. The longer someone spends on socials, the more likely they are to be exposed to it. See here for details on how to help your teen with this.
Another factor is exposure to content, especially in girls, that induces negative body image. Body image is a salient feature of a girl’s sense of self and self esteem and the media has historically had a role in influencing body image. Talking to your teenager about what images make them feel good and encourage them to use the algorithm to ensure that more body positive images and influencers are shown is important.
Nine, Ten: Sleep soundly again
It is well known that screen use is associated with disrupting sleep patterns and that this significantly contributes to poor mental health – it has been reported that 60% of psychological distress in girls could be accounted for by cyber bullying and disruption to sleep. In boys this was only 12% (including physical activity) suggesting other mechanisms, as yet unknown, are at play. Ensuring that your teenager has good healthy sleep patterns is also extremely important. Further information can be found here.
The key message for a parent is to find a way to reach a balance that works for you as a parent and for your teenager as they navigate this period. Removing social media as a source of conflict ensures that your young person is more likely to come to you for support rather than lying there at night being too afraid to speak, dealing with their own inner monster.
Louise
References
Paraskeva N, Haywood S, Hasan F, Nicholls D, Toledano MB, Diedrichs PC. An exploration of having social media influencers deliver a first-line digital intervention to improve body image among adolescent girls: A qualitative study. Body Image. 2024 Jun 19;51:101753. doi: 10.1016/j.bodyim.2024.101753. Epub ahead of print. PMID: 38901182.
Viner RM, Gireesh A, Stiglic N, Hudson LD, Goddings AL, Ward JL, Nicholls DE. Roles of cyberbullying, sleep, and physical activity in mediating the effects of social media use on mental health and wellbeing among young people in England: a secondary analysis of longitudinal data. Lancet Child Adolesc Health. 2019 Oct;3(10):685-696. doi: 10.1016/S2352-4642(19)30186-5. Epub 2019 Aug 13. Erratum in: Lancet Child Adolesc Health. 2020 Jan;4(1):e4. doi: 10.1016/S2352-4642(19)30371-2. PMID: 31420213.
