Boredom As a Rite of Passage

Adolescents today are more bored than previous teens.

Boredom is on the rise.

Whilst a common complaint of teens who are often in pursuit of new and exciting experiences as they try on different hats of identity and are chasing the all important dopamine boost, boredom has been linked to depression, substance abuse, pain and weight issues.
Over the summer holidays parents across the country will be listening to grunts of “ I’m so bored, it’s so boring” on repeat.

In today’s world is the standard retort of “only boring people get bored” still appropriate?

The short answer is no.

It’s true that a degree of boredom is absolutely normal in teenagers and happens as part of the forming of a new identity. As the saying goes “you have to deconstruct to reconstruct’.

A young person will start to disengage from their childhood associations -including their hobbies, toys and parents – as they make space for new hobbies, interests and relationships that will form the foundations of their adult identity. However, this isn’t an overnight process and when the ties to childhood are cut there isn’t anything immediately to replace them. Enter boredom. In the short term, boredom has the advantage in that it allows a young person to be alone with their thoughts and as it isn’t usually described as a positive experience the young person will then seek to alleviate their boredom by trying out new hobbies and interests. In today’s world, immediate access to online content can immediately alleviate boredom and it can be argued that this denies young people the opportunity to use their boredom to motivate them to try out something new.

Sometimes though boredom can be the sign of something a bit deeper. Someone who complains of feeling bored for long periods of time may be struggling to find pleasure and joy in anything and are actually experiencing depression. Sometimes it may be difficulty in finding supportive relationships. Boredom can also increase the risk of a young person engaging in risky behaviours.

How does a parent, who may long for the luxury of feeling bored, manage it?

Top tips include:

• Maintain a light routine each day to provide some sort of structure

• Work with your young person rather than telling them what they should be doing but also guiding them to take some exercise, engage with friends etc.

• Make some time as a family to do something once or twice a week. Your teenager may moan but to get them on board, you could get them to decide what they want to do

• Don’t be too over enthusiastic at booking them in for things or suggesting new hobbies to try. Your teen is more likely to reject it as it is something you’ve suggested, and you also run the risk of increasing their boredom if they are not interested in what has been offered

• Try not to stress too much about screen time (see previous blog for reassurance on this!) – it’s usually not worth the battle. Instead try and distract them with something else, even if its just watching a film or their favourite programme together

• Don’t feel you have to entertain them all the time – a bit of boredom is good for them

• Equally do pay attention if the boredom seems more persistent, especially if you’ve noticed a change in personality and they seem more withdrawn

And of course if you have any other suggestions that have worked for you and your family we would love to hear from you!

1)More bored today than yesterday? National trends in adolescent boredom from 2008-2017 Weybright et al J Adolesc Health 2020 Mar 66 (3) 360-365

2) Boredom Makes me Sick: Adolescents Boredom Trajectories and Their Health related Quality of Life Schwartze et al Int J Environ Res Public Health 2021 Jun 18 (12) 6308